Don’t eat spaghetti!!!

Spaghetti is cooked in a pot usually with boiling water. Usually more beneficial to put cold water in the pot and then boil. Don’t use warm or faucet-hot water because then the water is conditioned and you just don’t want that. Bad stuff all around. I usually put heat at full or number 11 ;) ;) one more than 10, right? ;)

After shit boils I turn the heat down to the number 4. Not sure what that would be in degrees or radians or however people measure temperature and stuff. Probably not necessary to know the exact measurement. Probably could eyeball it like throwing a basketball through a hoop but some people like to be specific though. I don’t know but I wouldn’t wanna be that specific.

When the spaghetti reaches al dente or just a firm bite-ness to it then it’s all good. But spaghettis is high in carbs. I’m on an all protein diet. Violating that would be like sacrilege. Something like cursing in a church on a Sunday. You just don’t do it no matter how silly it may seem. I just will not compromise. Even if I was dying, and I said, “Docta, Docta, give me the news…” and he said, “You gotta eat carbs to live, son”—I still wouldn’t. That’s how serious, dedicated and committed to this diet I am. Probably wouldn’t be able to live with myself afterwards if I did anyway.

I know, I know, you’re probably asking why I loathe spaghetti with such great disdain. Probably ‘cause one day the spaghetti peeved me. Spaghetti is a waste of itself. Disgusting in the full sense of the word. The experience that came with cooking spaghetti one day instilled such an awful experience in me that I nearly died as a result but ironically didn’t die from it but would probably so if I had to eat it to survive. I don’t know how I work sometimes. I just do. Anyway, don’t eat spaghetti ever again. Sometimes it’ll fall through the strainer and you won’t be able to eat it all.